


You Know That I'm No Good

by yanderekirklandchan



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Bottom Steve Harrington, Gay Billy Hargrove, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Harringrove, M/M, Oral Sex, Steve Harrington-centric, Top Billy Hargrove
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanderekirklandchan/pseuds/yanderekirklandchan
Summary: Sick of being all alone in a silent house, Steve Harrington has a one night stand to make him feel less lonely. It's not the first time ever he's had to do the walk of shame, but it is the first time he's met Billy Hargrove on the way home.***Basically a Harringrove fic following how their relationship starts and develops, with healthy amounts of smut, angst, fluff, and plot. (Title from the Amy Winehouse song)
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Steve Harrington & Everyone, Steve Harrington & The Party
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	1. Walk of Shame

Steve ambled miserably down the road, the gravel harsh against his sole bare foot. He didn't know where exactly he'd lost his shoe but he hadn't stuck around long enough to find out. These things were always easier when one party had left before the other awoke; usually him since he didn't like inviting people back to his house, not since Nancy. It felt too personal, he felt too trapped. Besides, it was about escaping, wasn't it? A change of scene. And it wasn't much of an escape if he was in his own fucking prison cage of a house.

_He could feel the eyes on him, and he knew they were heavily rimmed with mascara and intricate eye shadow. Too intricate. It must've taken a lot of time and attention to apply. She wasn't going out, instead watching him push the heavy mower up and down from the glass door._

_Like the makeup, her clothes were too much for a housewife who was staying in all day, he of all people totally got the appeal of dressing for one's self when no one else was home to see it but that leather skirt looked impractical and her low-necked pink sweater was so tight she could clearly scarcely move without something popping out. Showing off, then. To him. He paused his efforts briefly to pull off his shirt. It didn't mean anything, of course. It was hot out._

Even in his own head he sounded heartless, assuming that either him or his one night stand would leave before morning light, but that was just the way it was. The people he chose to sleep with—on the evermore rare occasion he did so—knew what they were getting into, just like he knew. That was part of why this was his chosen poison on nights like these, it was guilt free. He needed something in his life that was, that he didn't have to lie awake at night worrying about. In fact, it was just such nights which he could fill with meaningless sex to purge his mind and maybe get a few hours of peace.

_He felt like shit. He was shit. _Bullshit_ , as Nancy might say. Lips were scalding against his own, moving in a desperate dance of too-hot flesh against flesh. Her movements were raw with something dark and aching that was redirected into lust because lust was far easier to deal with. To cope with. He didn't mind being her outlet, her eyes were like a mirror to him after all. But it didn't matter what was in her eyes, what mattered was what was in that sweater, and whether it was as sweet as it looked all wrapped up nice in pink._

_His hands made swift work of those three little buttons, pulling soft fabric up above her head, mussing her hair He didn't mind. He liked that debauched look, liked messing up hair and smudging makeup, breaking the outward facade like opening a present specially wrapped just for him. She pressed him back against the kitchen counter. At his front, her newly exposed skin burnt so hot against his sweat slick chest. At his back, the countertop was cold, a knocked over photo frame of her family digging into his skin._

None of his bedpartners wanted commitment, most of them were… otherwise engaged on that front. Like last night. Sus—Sally. Yes, Sally. The mom of Nina, a stout little girl who sat at the front of class in chemistry. He didn't know her personally, but damn if her mom wasn't something else. Either there was very little family resemblance or Nina was hiding some shockers under that baggy, oversized jumper. Thankfully, he hadn't seen the girl on the way out, part of the reason he'd been in such a hurry. Shit, he didn't even know if Nina knew her parents weren't together anymore. Steve knew it was all a lie—marriage, love, families—didn't mean other kids his age knew. Well, at least not all of them.

_He rolled one pert nipple between his fingers before rubbing and pinching, not wanting that one to feel neglected while his mouth worked scrupulously on the other. The lewd, wet lapping of his tongue and lips as he sucked, licked, kissed the nub joined the breathy sound of moans that escaped her lips. Each nip was bright red and raw, between the cool air, her arousal, and his attentions. Her breasts were big and enticing, beginning to sag but he didn't mind, not when they were so huge and tantalising. He'd not been disappointed at what he saw under her sweater, large tits that clearly needed no enhancement from a bra, if anything the undergarment squeezed her in. He wanted to free them._

_And he had, observing the way her nipples were so long and puffy that they were bent to the side by her bra. He started at the reminder that this was a mother, her tits well used by nursing at least one child, a child his age. He doubted his mother had any such problem, she certainly hadn't breastfed him, then again she probably had enough men on her nipples to compensate for that. He scowled, angry at himself, why the fuck would he think of that now? He supposed he was fucked up, it should be a given, who else shagged their classmates mom? Well, his parents had ruined enough for him, he wouldn't let the mere thought of them ruin what'd been shaping out to be a perfectly good night. So he pushed out those thoughts in favour of pulling away from her nipples and lowering his mouth's focus._

The morning air was cutting in its cold, though maybe Steve was to blame since he'd not bothered putting his shirt on, the garment balled up in his bulging pocket, and his jacket hung wide open carelessly. Although he'd made his exit early, the clock had read five ten, the sky was already too light to be called night, it was just that time of year.

The murky dawn clouds made him feel exposed, as if the too-light sky and emerging birds were calling him out for what he'd done. Steve felt filthy, skin itchy with a number of liquids he didn't want to name that'd dried with his few hours sleep, body throbbing with a combination of phantom hands over his body and all-too-tangible bruises and scratches, not to mention the hickeys and scratches. He'd have to wear something modest to school tomorrow—today. Or maybe not. He had a reputation as a whore didn't he? Even now he wasn't the so called 'King'.  
  
_She was salty under his tongue and, between his spit and her juices, very fucking wet. It wasn't necessarily a nice taste but it was one he'd long since gotten used to. Besides, when women had the more uncomfortable job of taking it inside, it was the least he could do in return. He licked firmly in a circular motion over her clit, acutely feeling how engorged it'd grown._

_He tried not to swallow too much, letting the cocktail of spit and natural lubrication dribble down his chin so he didn't have to taste too much and could manage to ignore the taste and use his whole mouth, sucking as he licked. He had three fingers up her and they slid in easily now. She'd been tight, husband clearly neglecting her, but between her arousal and his fingers he reckoned she was probably ready to take something bigger. With his other hand, he reached down and undid his trousers, shoving them out of the way just enough to pull out his dick, which was aching from neglect. He was a patient lover, though, and he knew the time would always come eventually, just like now._  
  
The ironic thing was, Steve hadn't even been that much of a whore back then, he'd favoured dancing and getting drunk and otherwise making a fool of himself at parties to going back to a room for some privacy with some hot, hammered chick. Not that he got invited to parties anymore anyway. He'd actually believed in relationship _bullshit_ , actually needed to be fooled into thinking there was something more between him and the girl under him before he could get intimate.

That didn't stop the whole school from believing he was a womanizer and a heartless asshole who only cared till he'd got his dick wet then was gone. Even Nancy and Jonathan—the closest things he had to friends, which was fucking sad—believed it. So what did it fucking matter if he came to school all marked up like a slut, exposed and shamed for everyone to see. Maybe he'd pass Nina, maybe she'd scowl, judge him for being a sick slag when she didn't even know the half of it, her mother back at home with matching bruises. It'd be worth it, he decided. Because they all glared hatefully at him anyway, so he might as well spend the night in a warm bed, with affectionate arms around him, in a house that didn't reek with silence.  
  
_He couldn't sleep, he rarely could. Even before all the Upside down bullshit he'd always been scared. Of parents who didn't love him, angry yet again. Of the strange 'friends' they let into his room at night. Of being alone in a house so big it felt like a neon target. Of the silence that reminded him that he was completely and utterly alone in life._

_But this… this was different. This was comfortable. He didn't think of those things, instead letting his eyes fall shut as he listened to the soft breathing of the woman behind him, her arms wrapped around him so tight and loving. For this moment he could pretend. Close his eyes and pretend this was real. That this woman was his and only his, that he in turn was hers. That this house belonged to them, that those arms belonged around his waist. That he didn't have to run when the morning came, that her teenage daughter wasn't asleep in the room below. For this moment he could pretend that her arms on him and their slick thighs meant she loved him. That he was loved._  
  
As shameful as this part was—the morning after trek home—and as much as it provided time for self resentment, Steve couldn't help but like it. The sated feeling of having just had sex. How quiet and dormant the whole town was, like it was all his. Being able to just walk away like this, when so many other things in his life were inescapable. He even liked how awful he felt, in a morbid, self destructive sort of way. How wrecked he was, how he looked as much of a mess as he felt, how he'd done something he knew was wrong and bad, how used he felt, like his body didn't belong to him anymore. It was cathartic.

But the thing he liked most of all about the five am walk of shame was the sense of community. It was somewhere between funny and sick but it was true. Steve liked how everyone walking past, giving each other a wide berth, had an unspoken understanding. They knew where they'd been, they knew what they'd done, now was time to crawl back to their sorry excuses of lives and get on with it. It felt nice to see with his own two eyes that he wasn't the only one who was struggling, who felt tainted and flawed when faced with what everyday society said was acceptable.

Steve found it fascinating, too, to see who it was he saw. He'd never go off talking, off course, just like they all wouldn't rat him out. If he ran across these people during the day, they'd both pretend like nothing happened, they might even fool themselves into believing it. It was also fascinating to see the different states everyone was in. There were the people who wore the same clothes, trying to brush out telltale creases that really needed an ironing. The people who had packed a change. The poor sods who had somehow managed to misplace all their clothes. The people who speed walked and pretended they were doing something else, too naive to realise everyone knew they'd just got it on. Then there were people like him, who carelessly tossed on enough to make them mildly presentable but who didn't care enough to even try to do anymore than that. Clothes hanging open, ripped up, stained, missing shoes, smudged makeup, messed up hair. Steve knew he looked like he'd only just pulled out but fuck if he cared.

When he said he liked the sense of community, he meant it. He liked seeing who was doing the walk of shame today, most faces were vaguely familiar, it was a small town after all. It was alright for him, Steve didn't run the risk of seeing someone and it becoming awkward or messed up. His mom and dad where goodness knows were. He didn't have an extensive list of friends. The kids were still young and, though he knew some twelve and thirteen year olds were getting some, they were all so innocent. He envied them. The worst it ever came to for him was seeing a teacher, or that time he'd seen Mrs Wheeler, but that wasn't so much embarrassing and awkward as it was amusing. So, with few friends and no family, Steve had reasoned that he'd never see anyone on his walk of shame that would disturb him. Of fucking course he was proven wrong.

There, at the corner of the road he'd just turned, stood Billy Hargrove. It wasn't surprising, he supposed, Steve would guess that Hargrove was sexually active. He clearly cared about his appearance, flirted constantly, and was admired by all girls who saw him. Steve didn't peg him for the relationship type either so having one night stands and spending the night wasn't an unusual thought exactly, he had just never even thought about the other boy in this situation. In his head, Hargrove was a threat confined to school and occasionally the Party, since Max was related to him after all, he hasn't expected to ever see him in a situation like this.

What was he supposed to do? Steve's head gave an ache that he couldn't tell whether it was real or phantom, he'd mostly healed up from his beatdown at the Byers but was still suffering the more long-term effects of concussion. He wasn't as scared of Billy as he probably should be, too used to being hurt to take it that seriously, and though he admittedly felt occasional spikes of adrenaline and fear when faced with the other teen he just… didn't hate him. He just didn't. The children were furious on his behalf, especially Dustin. Nancy was indignant in her righteous way. Hopper and Joyce were all protective in that adult way. But he personally didn't really give much of a shit.

He got it, he supposed. He'd lied to Hargrove about where his sister was, he didn't really have any right to be hanging around all those kids. It really was creepy when he thought about it. The children… they were a light in his life, he loved them, each of them, and spending time with them was one of the only things that made him feel good. But it was also fucking weird. Was he their babysitter? Maybe, but no one asked him to and he was far too emotionally invested for that. Was he their friend? He liked to think so but it was strange. Why were all his friends children? What the fuck was wrong with him?

He wasn't twelve like Dustin, he understood the implications of him holed up in a creepy looking cabin in the woods with no-one but children. Of course, in this case he had good fucking reason but Hargrove certainly wasn't to know that. He'd be a hypocrite if he blamed the guy for solving problems with his fists, or even just taking anger and venting it into a fight. He didn't really get into fights much anymore, sometimes his skin itched with the need to just let his anger out. Steve let it sink inside him nowadays, into something far more despising, directed inward. Sometimes he just wanted to let it out.

As much as he wasn't angry at Hargrove, he still thought the guy was an asshole and was hardly his friend. So what the fuck was he supposed to do now, faced with him on a dawn lit street, only wearing one shoe with a jacket hanging haphazardly off his shoulders. It wasn't like Hargrove hadn't seen him shirtless before, they showered together after basketball, but he felt horribly exposed right now. And, for the first time on his morning escapades, humiliated.

Maybe he hadn't seen him… but no. Steve saw that glint in the other boy's eyes, his gaze fixed on him with laser precision as a smirk played on his lips which surely meant no good. Steve swallowed thickly, picking up his pace as much as he could without visibly appearing to be running away. He was trying very desperately to look nonchalant but Billy fucking Hargrove always seemed to pierce right through him with that unnatural blue gaze, picking him apart like he was some sort of lab dissection, guts hanging out and under a microscope.

As he drew closer to the other boy, Steve came to the panicked realisation that Hargrove, like him, hadn't bothered to get dressed properly. He hasn't even worn a jacket or coat, shirtless with jeans still unzipped, his shirt strewn lazily over his shoulder as he walked with effortless confidence and swagger, like he didn't have bite marks trailing up from his naval to his jaw. He must be cold (un)dressed like that, Steve mused, which was probably the explanation for his flushed skin. Hargrove had the remnants of a poorly cleaned white stain on the top of his jeans, a matching white substance peeling and dry on his stomach and… and Steve should really fucking stop looking.

His throat felt tight, cheeks flushed as he felt a strong heat curl within him, the sensation unexplained and not entirely comfortable. It'd come in reaction to seeing Billy like… like this. Maybe it was embarrassment. Or disgust. Neither felt even close to right but he didn't want to think anymore of it, or any of this, so he bit his pride and began to speed walk away. He'd take his lonely, empty house over this shit, at least that was a known evil.


	2. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some morning after miserableness and Steve being Dustin's second mum XD.

To say that Steve had fallen asleep when he got home would be generous. Sure, he was exhausted from having had to walk across the town after two hours sleep at most, body sore as fuck from some sex that was—if he was being honest with himself—pretty great. But, although exhaustion stuck to to his eyelids and weighed his muscles down, his mind didn't seem to want to listen to his body's desperate pleas for sleep. Maybe he had dozed off once or twice but his general state for the hour-and-a-half between getting home and needing to wake up had been that frustrating limbo of being half asleep and tired as fuck yet accutely being aware of not actually being asleep yet. So when the shrill sound of his alarm began to ring it was a frustration if not a surprise.

Steve groaned, getting to his feet on muscle memory alone. 7:02am. He didn't have to be at school for over an hour but he'd gotten into the habit of getting ready early in case any of the kids needed a lift. Most days, this one included, it was Dustin since he had a single mom who had so much on her plate and no older sibling to act as chauffeur. Secretly, Steve hoped that the kid actually enjoying his company had something to do with it. In fact, it probably did, Dustin was a generally vocal person about his feelings. He couldn't quite make himself believe it, even though he was sure it was true, but Steve just wasn't the type of person that people really genuinely liked. Especially not kids as kind hearted and intelligent as Dustin. That being said, his own insecurity didn't change the fact that he had to be at the Hendersons' house within the hour.

Steve groaned again for good measure before grabbing some clothes that looked comfortable but still stylish enough, his body ached something awful but that didn't mean he'd open himself up for bullying. He got enough of that these days without asking for it. As much as an asshole as he'd always been, Steve would always pride himself for never bullying anyone, that shit was dangerous. Clothes in hand, he decided he had time for a shower. Sex made you sweaty, it was a fact. At the time it was kind of hot, the sort of sweaty that was warm and glistening over tight muscles that were moving roughly together. By now, though, there was no disputing how fucking gross the sweat was. It'd dried up, gluing his clothes to his back in a sticky, itchy mess. He probably stank, too. So, showering it was.

It was a good call he decided, warm water rushing down his back. He felt cleaner instantly, the sweat and whatever else it was that was sticky and clinging to his thighs. The water even made the ache of his muscles lessen too, soothing bruises and pulled muscles. He briefly wondered how… Sally was it?—was fairing. Maybe she was making breakfast, all done up with makeup and hair spray, no evidence remaining. Maybe she was still asleep, her daughter knowing to make her own way to school by now. He didn't know. It wasn't his business to judge other people's parents. Hell, he probably couldn't identify good parenting in a lineup. He hoped Sally had at least had a shower, though, it really did help.

Naked and damp, smelling vaguely of strawberries and cream, Steve stood on the damp tile mat, briskly rubbing himself down with a towel. His skin began to feel raw but he pushed through, everything hurt anyway and he needed to make sure Dustin got to school on time. With a mirror as sizeable as the one in his bathroom, it was inevitable that he caught a glimpse of himself, though in honesty he'd been avoiding it. Fuck… he looked awful. His eyes were ringed with bags so dark it almost looked like he'd been punched, they had been building up from nights of poor sleep after all. His lips were swollen, red, and patchy in the telltale way that followed rough kissing and… other oral activities. It was the wide expanse of skin over his chest and back that caught the eye the most, though. While he'd been able to see the scratches, bruises and bite marks last night, if he'd been hoping for them to fade overnight he was sorely mistaken. They were littered across seemingly every square inch of his body and had darkened from angry red to bruised blues so dark they might be black.

Steve sighed in defeat, he had basketball today. It was only the second time he was allowed to play since the beatdown Billy gave him on that night, it'd been a while and he was all healed up but the doctors were strict when it came to concussion. It was a damned inconvenience, though, and now he was on thin ice with the Coach, he had to play and play well to stay on the team. His interest in pretty much everything, basketball included, had diminished to nothing after his second run in with otherworldly monsters but it was his best hope at getting into college. His grades were, to be blatant, shit; with basketball, it was unlikely he'd make it. Without it, it was impossible.

So no, Steve couldn't blow of a day because his body was covered in very suggestive marks and he was a bit antsy at the concept of showering in front of his peers. Which included his old friend turned enemy Tommy H. Which included Billy fucking Hargrove. Judging by the glimpse he'd gotten that morning, he wouldn't be the only one sporting hickies all over in the boy's showers. The memory of cold-flushed bronze skin, darkened with a trail of blotchy marks flashes through his mind. There was a strange fluttering sensation in Steve's stomach. Probably disgust, why was he thinking about Hargrove's post sex chest of all things? He should… he should stop thinking about Billy Hargrove. Period.

Steve turned his attention to pulling on his jeans and shirt. It was his long sleeved white one, that was a soft material which didn't help his aching but at least didn't make it worse. It came down low on his hips, covering the top of his grey jeans, and clung to his muscles in a flattering way. It had some ornate black symbol on the front that he hadn't considered much when choosing it. He felt comfortable and yet didn't make him want to crawl into a hole and die. In other words, just the clothes he needed. Steve sighed, running a mildly frustrated hand through his hair, it was too wet to deal with so he decided to make coffee then get back to it. He decided to forgo breakfast, like he did most days. He had that uncomfortable ache with hints of nausea deep in his stomach, the one that probably meant he was far too hungry for his own good but resulted in him losing his appetite. But fuck it. He refused to believe people actually ate breakfast.

Two cups of coffee and copious amounts of hairspray later, Steve was at least somewhat presentable and pulling up in front of the Hendersons' lawn. He contemplated getting up, but the energetic figure barrelling down the driveway told him there was no need. A smile tugged at his lips in the genuine way that only seemed to happen nowadays when he was around the kids. Dustin was just such a bright and happy person that it was contagious, whenever he was around him he couldn't help but begin to feel better too. Damn it if he didn't love this dumb kid.

"Hey Steve!" Dustin called brightly, opening the door of his car and climbing in "Thanks for picking me up again, man. Mom is super busy with work right now, which is totally unfair because she works so much all the time but hey at least she's getting paid extra for this. She feels really bad for making you drive me, and I told her you don't mind but she still wanted to get you to come in for a drink and snacks but I said I've gotta get to school on time. There's a rumour Mr Donovan's giving us a pop quiz and he takes points away for being late. Still, though, sorry you've got to do this. And thank you."  
Steve chuckled warmly at the instant barrage of conversation, by the time the kid had fallen silent he was already back on the road driving.

"Hey, don't worry about it, alright?" Steve said, and he meant it, he enjoyed driving all the kids around, especially Dustin "Tell your mom not to too, okay? I'd love to come by and have a drink with you guys some time, maybe when all three of us don't have stuff we need to go and do."  
"Yeah, she'd love that…"  
Steve frowned at the clear newfound concern in the kid's tone, shooting a glance over in his direction. Before he could say anything, though, Dustin continued.  
"Or maybe now is actually good." He amended "The pop quiz isn't that important anyway, and we can always be quick."  
Steve looked over at him incredulously "Where's this coming from all of a sudden? You were adamant now wasn't a good time like five seconds ago."  
Really, Dustin's thoughts were always moving so fast Steve could swear he got whiplash from it.

Dustin pinned him with that gaze that made him look like he was trying to pretend to be a grown-up, the one that always had Steve torn between being amused and insulted at being on the receiving end of.  
"No offence, dude, but you look like shit." Dustin said plainly, causing Steve to splutter, "Like, really. Did you even eat breakfast? Mom's got pancakes left over, we can just turn around and grab some."  
"Dustin, seriously, I'm fine." He insisted "We are not going back to your place just so I can mooch food off your mom."  
"So you didn't eat!" Dustin exclaimed accusingly "We are turning this car around right now!"  
Steve made a noise half way between huffed laughter and annoyance "Like hell we are, I'm the one driving. And so what if I didn't eat? No one in highschool eats breakfast, no need to freak out about it."

Dustin fell silent, which should make Steve feel victorious but all it did was make guilt curl inside him. He hated it when the kids were worried and it only stung worse if he was the cause of it.  
"Buy something at school."  
"What?" Steve had become so used to the silence that Dustin speaking had startled him.  
"I said, buy something at school!" Dusting restated with just as much force "I know you've gotta have some sort of canteen or something that's open in the mornings. So, buy some food."  
"Shit, kid, it's really not that much of a big deal." Steve said incredulously "And anyway, I'm too busy. I've got classes this morning I can't miss."

Dustin pouted for a moment but didn't stay quiet "Then come around after school."  
"What?" Steve heard him but was just so dubious that Dustin was making such a fuss.  
"You said you want to come around and have drinks with me and my mom, didn't you?" Dustin persisted.  
"Yeah, but…" Steve sighed "Look, Dustin, I am really touched you're so worried about me. Seriously, you're a good friend, man. But you do not need to be so freaked out about me skipping breakfast. That doesn't mean I'm not eating, a lot of kids my age don't eat breakfast. It just doesn't seem important."  
"Please?"  
Steve huffed, "I have basketball after school."  
"Yeah, well I have AV club." Dustin countered without hesitation "They finish at the same time, I won't be waiting around."

Steve sighed, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as his resistance wore thin under Dustin's gaze—how could he both look strict and like a puppy dog?  
"Alright, alright!" He made a gesture of surrender "I'll come to your stupid house, okay? Pick you up outside the school."  
The utterly pure, childish look of joy on Dustin's face made Steve entirely certain that he'd made the right decision. Besides, he loved spending time with the kid, and he really didn't want him to worry about something as stupid as his diet. He just didn't want to impose on them, Steve couldn't help but feel like he had no right to be hanging around with any of them. He was sure that all the kids and their parents and everyone else were just looking at him like he was some sad freak who was making a pest out of himself by always showing up invited.

Now the silence that filled the car was companionable instead of tense and guilty.  
"So, what did happen to you? You look like shit, man." Dustin queeried.  
Steve huffed a laugh "Way to make me feel good, man. It's just…" he cleared his throat, suddenly very awkward at the subject matter "Um… well, I can't tell you but I swear it's perfectly fine."  
Apparently his words had the opposite effect to what he was hoping for, Dustin looked incredibly panicked.  
"Steve, you can't just turn up all bruised, looking like a zombie and not tell me what happened!" He exclaimed in an anxious tone "Did you get into a fight? Did someone hit you? Fuck, did your parents beat you or something? Was it Billy Hargrove again! I swear, if he hurt you again I will—"

"Oh my gosh, Dustin, it's just fucking sex!" Steve cried out in defeat.  
Sure, the kid was like thirteen or something but what could he say? Knowing Dustin, if he didn't provide an answer that satisfied him the he would be calling the police to make an inquiry on his parents and Hargrove and that would make telling the truth even more embarrassing and complicated.  
"Sex?" Dustin repeated so incredulously it was like he'd never heard the word.  
"Yes," Steve bit, cheeks flushed "Sex."  
There was a spell of silence in which Steve was sure he'd die of mortification.  
"Dude, sex is not supposed to hurt you like that." Dustin spoke up again, voice sounding concerned again.  
Steve was ready to throw his hands up in the air in defeat "Yes. It is. Just… I'm fine, okay? It was between two consenting people who were totally fine with it and unless you need me to give you the talk there is nothing more to be said."

Thankfully, this time Dustin seemed to take his word for it.  
"So… do you have a girlfriend, now?" He asked after a moment.  
"No, Dustin." Steve did not want to be getting into this with a child he viewed as something between a little brother and son.  
"So it was a one night stand?"  
"Shit, kid, just… yes, alright? It was a one night stand." Steve admitted, really wishing school was closer "But… don't go around having one night stands, okay? You're way too young. And they make you feel like shit, and you could catch something so… don't. Always use protection! But it's okay if you do, don't be ashamed of your sexuality and be proud and that shit. And never be afraid to talk to people if you need to. Like… you can come to me about anything. Still, there's no rush. It's not 'cool' to have sex young, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just cus I… doesn't mean you... The longer you wait the better it'll be, I wish I didn't do it so early. Just… And if anyone hurts you during sex that'd not okay, alright? Or any time. No one gets to hurt you." Two cups of coffee was not enough to prepare him for this conversation.

"Hey, I get it man." Dustin said, thankfully, cutting his ramblings short "I'll be smart about that stuff and if I ever need to I'll come to you. Do as you say not as you do, right?" He said with a smile "But, uh… I don't think you have to worry about me doing that any time soon, I haven't even had a girlfriend yet!"  
Steve let out a relieved breath as it seemed that the topic was being left in the past "Well, that's okay, Dustin. Don't rush that stuff either, relationships are great man but to be honest they can be a lot more trouble than they're worth. They're distracting and it seems like your whole world is revolving around whether it's going well or not, like your whole worth depends on what some girl thinks of you. Relationships at your age don't last, hell even my age! Being dumped by someone can hurt so fucking bad, because it's like someone who knows you better than anyone has decided you're not worth being around and it… it's bad. So don't feel bad if people around you are getting into relationships and you aren't, okay? If the girl is that special then you will come together without you having to pretend or force it."

There was a moment's silence.  
"Are you thinking about Nancy?" Dustin asked in a small voice.  
Steve's chest tightened, feeling like ice-water had replaced his blood "N-No."  
There was another moment's silence.  
"I know you well, Steve, and I don't think you're 'not worth being around', I love being around you." Dustin insisted.  
Steve smiled so widely and genuinely, though he tried to push it back, "Thanks, kid."  
*******  
The Hawkens Middle School building drew closer as Steve pulled up into the parking lot. Steve knew that when he'd been this age many of his peers had found it embarrassing to be dropped off by their parents so close to the school gate, asking their parents to drop them further away and they'd walk the last part or better yet making their own way entirely. Of course, Steve had never actually known what that was like since his parents weren't even in the state, maybe not even the country, so they definitely weren't able to drop him off. Still, he didn't know whether Dustin didn't pay heed to silly middle school popularity things such as that or whether being dropped off by a teenage boy got rid of that embarrassment but in any case he'd had no objections to being taken right up close.

"Alright, here we are," Steve said with a fond smile "Have a good day at school, alright?"  
"You too, man. Remember to pick me up from AV!" Dustin insisted "You are not blowing me off."  
Steve chuckle "Wouldn't dream of it."  
"Take it easy in basketball!" Dustin called back as he walked away "You know what the doctors said about vigorous exercise and sport!"  
"Yes, Mom." Steve teased, watching as Dustin joined his friends and they walked into the school building as a group, some of the kids waving bye to him too.  
He watched until he couldn't see them anymore, feeling a strange sense of sadness and loss. Looking around and catching some parents dropping off their kids, Steve felt stupid and pathetic. Dustin wasn't his kid. Wasn't even his brother. Hell, he probably didn't even consider Steve his friend and if he did that was only a recent occurrence. He had no right to be sitting here feeling sad, wondering what the boy's day would be like, hoping he'd have a good time.

Angry at himself, Steve pulled out his car and drove, somewhat recklessly, towards his own school. Time for hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the second one! How did you like it? I know it had no Billy at all, I had planned for this to cover way more than just driving to school but I got carried away. Rest assured there will be some gay boys being in sexual denial soon XD
> 
> I plan on updating every Friday night (well for me this is technically midnight Saturday morning) so keep your eye out next week!


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